If you think that you can be successful with friends that enable you, and don’t challenge you, think again. Your inner circle makes or breaks you. This is not something that you should take lightly. Success is contagious, and so is failure. People’s track records need to be taken into account. What have they done in the past? Is their track record a good one? Have they had a real measure of success, or are they poseurs? Is your circle setting you up for failure or success?
Your inner circle is a reflection of you. You are a reflection of the 5 closest people to you. Surrounding yourself with “yes” men or women will be your downfall. You need people in your life that will tell you the truth when you need to hear it. If everything you do is wonderful, and perfect then there’s a problem. Big egos attract big egos. You have to be willing to let someone show you your blind spots and corners. Real friends do that, they help you to see the real you. Warts and all.
Your inner circle should challenge you. There’s room for improvement in all aspects of your life. If you’re not growing, neither is your circle. There’s the problem. If you’re comfortable with the status quo, then they will be too. Why rock the boat? If you want to be successful, you have to sometimes do things that you don’t like. And, you have to make some sacrifices and concessions. Compromises, and agreeing to disagree are essential to success. Nothing tests your resolve more, than having to deal with and accepting, that people have their own way of doing things. Including, having their own thoughts and opinions.
Your inner circle should encourage you. There is a world of difference between encouraging and enabling. People should encourage you to do what’s right. Enablers do whatever it takes to keep you happy. On the surface that may seem nice, but if you get into trouble it could spell disaster. Encouragers will help you to become your best self. Even, if that means moving on to bigger and better things: without them. Enablers feed your ego, even if it’s not good for you. Ensuring that they stay a staple in your life.
Your inner circle should be trustworthy. There’s nothing worst than not being able to depend on the people closest too you. Are they going to be there for the goods times only? More importantly will they bail on you in the bad? Trustworthy people can be trusted at all times. They aren’t selfish, “What’s in it for me?” types. They understand that being there for you in a pinch is a real test of friendship, loyalty, caring and love.
Your inner circle attracts the right kind of people. Let’s face it, there are lots of people out there that talk a good game. But, when the things get rocky, they get flaky. Good people don’t leave you high and dry for a reason: anyone can hit rock bottom. Circumstances can change in a heart beat, and the right kind of people know that life is about rolling with the punches. If your circle is only in your corner when you look good, or make them look good. Be prepared to be ditched when something better comes along.
Your inner circle should respect you enough to be honest with you. If you hate honesty, you will be surrounded by liars. If you prefer living in denial, then expect your circle to deliver. There are going to be times when the truth hurts. People who care about you won’t let you go around making an ass of yourself. Period. If someone is only along for the ride, don’t expect them to be truthful. It’s a downer. Your inner world is important, but if no one really knows how you tick, that can make it hard to relate. If they only see an image, don’t be surprised when you’re treated like one.
Your inner circle should be authentic. Real people don’t fake it till they make it. Period. If your inner circle loves everything you love, and never wants to do something different from you: then someone is lying. Going along to get along can get old really quickly. Real people have their own identities. If it’s all wrapped up in the group, then someone needs therapy. Being yourself means you have your own: opinions, ideas, way of doing things, likes and dislikes, quirks and idiosyncrasies. In other words, it’s what makes you an original. Clones are mirrors of who they imitate. If you only surround yourself with mirrors, don’t be shocked when you all get shattered at the same time.
Success is a choice, and so is choosing those closest to you. People can look successful, but looks can be deceiving. You can present whatever you want in public, but it’s what happens behind closed doors that really defines you. Your inner circle should know and care about the real you. Not what you project, and not what you want everyone else to think that you are. Successful people know this. Your circle is who you are based on who you hang around with. If you want to be successful, deal with people that are doing something with their lives, and making sustainable things happen. Real success lies in the behind the scenes, not the “in your face” false fronts.