Trial By Fire

I can honestly say that the past 10 years have been a trial by fire. And, I’m happy to report that last year ended much of the trial, and that I’ve become a stronger person because of it. I’m glad that through it all, I’ve become a better person. My inner circle has changed, and my life has taken a turn for the better. I never dreamed that my life would start falling into place after having so many negative things happen. It’s all been worth it. A destructive ending has brought me to a creating beautiful beginning. Who says that something good can’t come out of destruction?

No one wants to have to go through a trial by fire. I believe that everything happens for a reason. Bad things happen to good people all the time; why should I have been any different? The best part of my trial is it took the wrong people out of my life and replaced them with the right ones. That was worth all the suffering that I endured. There’s something to the saying, “getting double for your trouble”. It’s true.

I chose to become better, not bitter because of it. Boy am I glad I did. I’ve taught my kids that being angry, resentful, and bitter keep you stuck in the past, and doesn’t do you a bit of good. In fact, they can hinder you for opportunities that can help you get out of a rut. When you stay stuck in the past, you can’t move onto the next level. Life is all about changes and new experiences.

When the things in life become something that you have to protect yourself from at all costs, that’s not good. Once you move forward, your whole world opens up. You can be happy even in the worst circumstances because: this too shall pass. It does, when you accept what you can’t change, and work with what you can. That’s empowering.

It’s easy when you surrender to what is, and focus on what can be. You sleep at night, without any worries. You get along with others, and you have a peace within yourself. That’s when you realize that whatever life throws at you, you can handle. Because of my trial, my comfort zone is fairly large now. Things don’t bother me the way the used to, and nothing really gets under my skin much now. It is what it is, and I’m good with that. I’m comfortable with myself, and others around me. I don’t worry about what others think of me. I’m myself and unashamed. I don’t feel guilty about telling people no when I need to.

Inner peace is the best feeling. When people are free to be themselves, you get the very best from and of them. While being themselves they want to be their very best. And, they want you to have the best that they can give you. Being yourself is the best gift that you can give to the people that appreciate it. It’s authentic. The right people can make your life heaven; the wrong ones, a living hell. Let yourself heal when you’ve been hurt. It’s the best gift that a trial can give you. I can say that I’m fully healed, and I’ve learned how to love people again. Almost lost that one. Almost.

My trial is almost completely over. There is one variable that refuses to get out of the way, but no matter. My circumstances haven’t changed that much, but I have. I can honestly say that I’m glad that I’ve learned what really matters, and that it’s easy for me to smile no matter what I go through. For everything that I’ve lost, something better has come along to replace it. I’m now truly a positive reflection of what’s coming back to me. Not everyone is on board, but the ones that matter are.

My kids and I have learned to look at the positive and focus on that. It’s not always easy, but it’s better than the alternative. Things are better when you look at the positive. Focusing on that makes any trial easier to navigate, and to withstand. The trial was for a reason, and it was for the best. You really find out how: patient, resilient, resourceful, capable, emotionally intelligent, and how much self control you have while being tested.  Besides, you don’t get stronger by running away. You get strength by facing the: flames, heat, and pain.


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