Ahhh!!!

Have you ever been completely overwhelmed by your life? But in a good way? You have a lot of good things going on, but you feel like you’re being pulled in a 1000 different directions? There are too many great options, and you know that you need to do only one thing at a time? So much to do, but in so little time? You have everything that you could ever need right there in front of you, but you can only tackle the first thing in front of you? Relax, you’ve got this.

I’ve gone through many of life’s changes this year. Some good, some bad, and some that have challenged my faith in people. But in the end, I’m growing and coming out a better person because of it. There have been times when I didn’t think that I could get through the latest challenge, but in the end I did. I’ve recently learned that your resolve will be sorely tested if you’re not a strong person.

Adversity breeds strength. And it does. Must people are good with the following statements: I need to, I want to, and I can. But, there is a disconnect with: I will. That’s where things really get interesting. Most people don’t have the “I will” part entered into the equation. They’re fine with the I need, want and can. It’s that pesky “will” part. It’s what’s called the motivation gap. Do you have the will to do what needs to be done?

If you can master the “will” part, then you will know that you are ready to go forward with whatever it is that you put your mind to. So put your mind to it and get it done. So how do you do that? You make up your mind and take action. Yes, it’s that simple. People don’t judge you by your words, they judge you by your actions. You can say anything, but actions truly speak louder than words.

So, if you don’t want to get overwhelmed, then you will want to know what you will or won’t do. Giving up is not an option when things are going well. Things can take a turn for the worst, that can happen at any time. So, you might as well make sure you’re motivated to do what you can while the goings good. It also helps if you believe in yourself. Let’s face it, it’s a crazy world out there. You might as well get to the follow through. Peace comes with knowing that you can handle things.

 

 

 

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Perseverance

Have you ever noticed that when things start to get crazy, they do at the worst time? Just when you think you’re getting ahead, you end up having to start all over. As if that’s not bad enough, it happens when you’re already stretched thin. What do you do when you can’t get a grip in life? Persevere.

It’s one of the hardest things that you will ever do, but will help you to get to the next level. There’s no such thing as an easy life. And, anything in life that worth having is worth fighting for. But, it’s going to put up one vicious fight. When things go wrong, it’s easy to get down and out, but it’s also a great opportunity to see what you’re made of.

You don’t know what you can do, until you’re faced with seemingly impossible odds. That’s when you find out how: creative, intelligent, enterprising, positive, motivated and inspired you truly are. It’s also the time when you’ll find out who your real friends are. Those that stay with you in times of trouble are the ones that truly care about you, and not what you can do for them. They’re worth every hardship you face. Why? Because they aren’t going to let you face it alone.

Perseverance is the one trait that you will need if you ever plan to have any real success. Things happen in life that make you feel like giving up. That’s where perseverance comes in. It’s at these times where you will really have to give it your best shot, and do what you need to do. Even when you don’t think you can do it. It’s where your faith is tested, and your belief in what you’re doing is going to carry you through. Belief in yourself is everything, and really, it’s the only thing.

It builds character, strength, tenacity, and increases your self esteem. When you’re getting tested, you can do one of 2 things: stay and fight, or run like hell. Only one will help you in the long run, and guess what? It isn’t running. Your problems will eventually chase you down, and overtake you. What’s worse? The problem only grows and you’ll have to deal with it in the end anyway. Why not just stay and fight to win? Winners say,” I’m glad I did”, Losers say, “I wish I had”. One will live with the awards and rewards, the other with the regret of consequences.

Don’t run away from a challenge, embrace it. And, make sure you see it through. At the end of your journey the things that need to be taken off your path will make way for better things ahead. No matter what that is just keep it moving, and keep it going forward. There will be people that will be with you for the beginning part of it, others will come in the middle and still some that will meet you at the end. Everyone has a part to play, but not all will be there to at the end to enjoy your newfound success. The best part? The right people will be there to help you celebrate.

So endure the hardships, chase the challenges, and don’t stop moving until you get to your promised land. Trust yourself to be able to see it through. Don’t give up on you. Let go of what’s holding you back, and seek out what moves you forward. It’s worth it. Stare fear in the face and tell it to back off. Besides, the ones that are supposed to be with you will be there in the end. Those that aren’t? Don’t sweat it: they weren’t there  during your struggles ( you know, your blood, sweat and tears ), so they don’t deserve to be there during you victory.

 

 

When the Student is Ready…

Have you ever wanted something and didn’t know where to start? You were excited, full of energy and ready to go, but where? You know what you want, and are ready to pursue it, but you need to have  guidance to help you along the way. That’s when the teachers that you need appear. If you’re open and ready, they will come. I decided to be open and ready, and now my teachers are here and ready to coach, teach and lead me. And, I’m ready to be lead. It all starts with the mindset and attitude that you: need it, want it, can do it, and will do it.

I’m a huge believer in personal development, and since I’ve been striking out as an entrepreneur it’s been really beneficial. Because it’s been drilled into me that your paycheck is determined by your level of personal development. I’ve been told that I’m enthusiastic, energetic, intelligent, driven, and I rise to the occasion. I’ve also been told I’m resourceful, organized, and hard working. I kind of took these things for granted, but not anymore. Some of these qualities were innate, others cultivated. All being improved on with help of coaches.

So are you a student that is ready for a teacher or coach? Only you know the answer to that. But, if you’re coachable, trainable and teachable you can grow. Being open and ready to receive is key. It may sound cliched but it’s true. Let’s face it, no one knows everything. And even if you did, most of what know changes depending on what advances are made. So learning and changing are part of the process. You might as well get used to it, and make it a permanent part of your plan.

So how do you know when you’re ready? Simple, things start to line up with what you’re trying to do. The books you need to read, the seminars you need to attend, the webinars you need to check out are all right in front of you. You don’t have to search things out, they seem to find you. The course that’s been in your area for ages, that you never even knew was offered. The mentor that you need to help give you direction and guidance has an appointment open next week. The stars align. Whatever. You get signs that you are getting what you need when you need it.

Doors open that you need to open. And others close that need to close. The right people show up, and the wrong ones leave. The resources are available, and the money shows up. You get the impression that you should be doing what you’re doing while you’re doing it. You have the right attitude and feel positive about the position your in. All while taking things in stride. You’re stretched, but not to the point of breaking. And you start to make headway with your plans. You now have solutions to your most pressing issues. Goals become clearer, and your vision is more vivid. Passion is ignited, and confidence is growing.

When you’re ready, things start standing out to you that you didn’t notice before. Focus and attention become sharper. You start to change. Ideas, impressions, phrases, words and other things grab your attention in a way that you never noticed before. You get excited, motivated, inspired, and ready to take action. Everything changes, and takes you in a different direction. You are now doing what you were meant to do. All because you were ready. Because you are open, and accept what is, everything you need suddenly is there for you. Manifestation some people call it. The mindset is where it all begins. You think about it all the time, and then it’s with you.

Teachers help to motivate, encourage, and inspire and give you direction. Building trust and wisdom when you are in need of it the most. Providing options and preparing you for making better choices. Are you utilizing their resources as they come to you? Are you seeing the opportunities that are coming your way? Pay attention, when you’re ready you send out signals that really let people know that you need their help. They can sense it, and will give you what you need. So are you ready?

 

 

 

 

Help Release the Inner Child Prisoner

Have you ever noticed that the most damaged people that you can ever come into contact with are those who don’t look at themselves? They’re great at pointing out everyone’s flaws, but downplay their own. And worse, believe that they aren’t ever the problem. They cause strife, chaos, and anger only to turn around and play the victim. Justifying whatever it is that they are doing, have done, or failed at by pointing fingers at who they want to believe is the problem. Why? Insecurity.

Insecure people are masters at making sure you know that someone else is to blame. Being masters at the blame game, and continuously perfecting their craft. They just can’t handle the responsibility of owning up to their own faults, flaws, imperfections and negative aspects of themselves. These are people that learned early on that it’s better to look good, than to be good. They tell themselves that as long as people perceive them to be good, that should be enough. Wrong, character and integrity count.

People who lack character and integrity are usually liars. They live in the delusional state of magical thinking: just because I think or feel it, makes it so. Living in a state of denial that only causes themselves and everyone around them constant headaches. They’re also reactionary. Meaning: They live and die by how they feel, irrational and constantly on edge. A walking, breathing raw nerve, that can’t tolerate even the smallest breeze.

Emotional creatures that aren’t in control of their emotions. Because they lack the ability to self soothe, they also have very little self discipline, and resist delayed gratification. Compulsive, with easily bruised egos and arrogant by nature, small people that no one can really believe in. And, no one really believes.

They have a tendency to “poison the well” ( concocting stories, or just plain twisting the truth ) so that others will run to their defense when they’ve wronged someone. This is also a destructive way to live. They don’t have genuine relationships, because they just aren’t authentic. Imposters hoping not be found out.

They wear masks all the time. Because they are so focused on their image, a living breathing illusion. An empty shell, and endless void that longs to be filled but refuses to look at self long enough to have it filled. Destructive and lonely even when in relationships, they hurt others to be able to feel something. Their inner demons run the show. Tormenting them in the darkness when all else is quiet. Relentlessly reminding them of their emptiness.

They are often afraid to be alone.  Willing to do anything, or worse be with anyone that diminishes this fear. Often with users like themselves that will use them, and eventually leave them when they have gotten all that they can out of them. Because they are so afraid of “real” people, they do everything they can to turn others against them.

The need to: play games, insult, accuse, justify, project, deflect, and manipulate is second nature to the insecure. They are survival methods used by the inner child that has been locked up left to fester in their fear and anger. Children afraid and alone, disguised as adults in the world that frightens them. They go through life never really living. A child that wants to be validated and loved unconditionally by the only one that really can love them: the person they see in the mirror everyday.

These are the people who destroy relationships, families, careers, businesses and friendships in an ever constant battle to reinvent a fragmented inner self. In a desperate quest to be and finally feel whole. Those looking outside themselves for a validation, purpose, meaning and more importantly a love that can only come from within. Constantly trying to gain and keep the upper hand, in all situations where they feel vulnerable and/or exposed.

Hurt, angry, hiding inner children that lash out at those closest to them for fear of exposing a truth that they don’t want to face: the realization of not having an identity to call their own. In essence, not feeling real. So, they become counterfeit beings longing to belong. Looking for sources of a self through others that only they can put together. Always searching, never resting. Until finally, they either hit rock bottom and change. Or, are doomed to a half life of watching others love, and enjoy life. Always in the shadows resenting those living in the light.

The best way to help them? Let them go. They are lost and only they can find themselves. You can’t do this for them. Yes, their journey is going to be a painful one. Usually they have to hit rock bottom before they can face the truth. Rock bottom is the place where many people have found their true selves at last. Where all the layers are peeled away and only the real person remains. They will either stay in the dark void, or come out and enjoy the light. They have to want to change.

Eat, Sleep and Dream Business

Are you passionate about your business? Is it your dream, or escape? Did you dream about doing it when you were a kid, or did it just pop into your head one day? Does it really matter? If you want to truly be successful: yes it does. There’s a huge difference between being a entrepreneur because you want to be, and being one because you’re forced to be. Can both ways be lucrative? Short answer: yes. But, one will make you jump out bed in the morning, the other may become your slave driving master. Which one would you prefer?

When I was a kid, I wanted to be my own boss. I don’t remember why, I just knew that I wanted to be. I have dabbled in many businesses over the years, and I’ve learned a lot from all of them. Finding my niche hasn’t really been that hard. I enjoy sales, and I love a good challenge. Sales is challenging and rewarding at the same time. And I have a vision for what I want to do and how much time it’s going to take me to get there in the future.

It takes perseverance, courage, persistence, a love of learning, having the ability to handle constant rejection, and being willing to learn from your mistakes to make it. Having the capacity for personal growth, and flexibility to change is essential to your survival in business and in life. A business really can become a part of you, but don’t let it be your total identity.

You do have to eat, sleep and dream about your business to succeed. If you view the business like child rearing, then you’re on the right track. You have to be there, nurture it, watch it grow. Figure out when to step into a situation, and when to let things work themselves out. There will be times when you have to stay close, and time when you have to keep you distance to see what direction it goes. But in the end, everything pays off if you are willing to learn as you go. Just like raising a child is unique to each family, so is running a business with each business owner.

The experience should be one that lets you rise to the occasion. Your business should bring out the best in you. It will be filled with difficulties, setbacks, and major disappointments. But, if it’s truly what you want, it will all be worth it in the end. You will be so focused on what you want, that you will be consumed ( in a good way ) with succeeding. If you love what you do, the money will come. You won’t dread getting up in the morning. And, if it’s truly what you love, you won’t see it as merely earning a living. You can do that with a job.

Being in business also has it’s share of responsibility, to oneself as well as to the others who depend on your success. The ones that will be affected by your failure if things don’t work out. Like a marriage, you have to be fully committed. No commitment, no success. That’s the way it works. You can go in halfway. You’ll need the right support system as well. The more positive people in your corner the better. But, beware: yes men are dangerous. They only tell you what you want to hear, and will be the first to jump ship when things don’t work out. Fair weather friends that they are, they aren’t authentic.

Life as an entrepreneur is rewarding, challenging, and lucrative. It’s also a way of life that you can be the most fulfilling thing you can engage in. You can wake up everyday looking forward to what you’re building, and feeling accomplished. Knowing that you are going to be doing this for as long as you desire. Making an impact, and loving every minute of it. It’s all up to you. Having a great attitude, and passing it on. Sleeping soundly at night because you are doing what you’re meant to do. You’re dream has come true. And everything you eat tastes better. The entrepreneurial life is one you relish and wouldn’t trade for anything. Making your dream come true.

 

 

Training and Skill Sets Matter

Are you equipped for success? The very best in business will tell you that training and skill sets are the difference between success and/or failure. Why risk it, when you can get the help that you need to succeed? Don’t reinvent the wheel. There’s a reason for people paying big bucks for training: it works. Learning from those who have been there, done that is important.

So, how do you know if you’re getting the right training? Proven track record. It’s that simple. Bestseller books, word of month reviews, workshops and seminars with real testimonials are a start. If you’re friend that isn’t very successful is telling you to start a business and they’re barely making ends meet… Well, you get the picture. You want credible sources. “There’s a sucker born every minute” PT Barnum used to say. And guess what, he wasn’t kidding. So, the first step is to find out who is offering training that you can trust.

Dale Carnegie Training has been around for over a hundred years. Dale Carnegie wanted to bring out the best in people. Credible? Of Course. Expensive? Depends, if the return is greater than the investment, then no it’s not expensive. They offer online courses as well as classes, webinars and on site training. There are countless others that offer specialized training as well.

Bob Proctor is a protege of Earl Nightingale. He has endless resources to help you succeed. The Proctor Gallagher Institute specializes in equipping people in success. Darren Hardy of Success magazine was a protege of Jim Rohn. His books, website and resources are a vast network to some of the best in business. Dani Johnson, Sharon Letcher and Kim Kiyosaki ( wife of Robert Kiyosaki ) are powerhouse women that have trained thousands to succeed in business.

There are countless others to chose from. Do your homework. Anyone can put out a webinar or conference call and not have a clue how to run a business so be careful who you trust. That’s not to say that newbies don’t know what they’re doing, just make sure what you’re being trained to do works. That means applying what you’ve learned. If it works ( it may take some time and effort, but it should pay off ), then you’re on the right track.

If they are constantly updating, that’s a good sign as well. New information means they are on their game, making sure that you’re getting the most out of what you’re learning. It also means that they are looking to improve what they are presenting. Updating their content means they are listening to feedback, and doing their due diligence. The world can and does turn on a dime, so make sure you aren’t using outdated methods. Just because someone appears to be doing well in business doesn’t mean that they are.

Success can and should be duplicated.  If they can do it, so can you. Einstein said, “If you can teach a 7 yr old how to do it, then you know how to do it yourself.” Paraphrased of course, but you get the picture. If it’s too complicated to comprehend, then chances are you’re being conned. Successful people want to help you to succeed, their further success depends on it. The Law of Increase is real. What you put out, will come back to you multiplied.

 

Are You Stuck or Stranded?

There is a huge difference between being stuck, and being stranded. One is a state of mine, the other is a state of being. Being stuck is a mind thing, and will hold you back. It can also make you take action in the wrong direction. Being stranded is a state of being that’s temporary, and can bring a change for the better. One is a prison, the other is just a temporary place. Are you stuck or stranded?

I won’t even waste time on being stuck. Why? Because so many people are living in Stuckville already. Lets talk about being stranded for a sec. You can be both stuck and stranded at the same time. But, people who realize they’re stranded, know there is something they can do about it. When you’re stranded you are forced to take action. It’s actually a positive place to be. It’s where you get sick and tired of being sick and tired.

Being stranded forces you to be creative, re-evaluate your life and situation, and gets you to go in a different direction. Believe it or not, this is a positive thing. Being stranded gets you to have to bootstrap it. It takes you out of your comfort zone, and forces you to grow and change.

Stuck people usually are looking for a means of escape. They’re in a prison of their own making. Stranded people have a different take: they take responsibility for their situation, know that it can be risen above, and work towards that end. They don’t feel out of control, and they know they can handle whatever comes their way.

They don’t depend on other people to: motivate, inspire, or even nudge them in the right direction. They also are aware of those closest around them. You are the sum of the 5 people closest to you. If you’re surrounded by “yes men” look out, disaster is around the corner. If all of your friends are in agreement with everything you do, it’s time to find new friends. Real friends call you on your BS to help save you from yourself. Fake friends are only along for the ride. When the ride isn’t fun any longer, they’re in the wind.

Stuck people are looking for approval. Stranded people are looking for results. When you’re stranded, you start to believe that there is going to be something good that comes out of being stranded. And, you’re right. You find your inner strength and don’t depend on others to tell you how great you are. You already know. Being stranded is just a bump on the road of life. You don’t have to live there. And, stranded people don’t, they get moving. All of life’s harshest lessons can be opportunities to come out ahead. And with each opportunity, another chance at a better day. It really is up to you.

Stranded people also know when to let go, and who to cut completely out of their lives. It doesn’t matter who that person is. Toxic people make your life a living hell, and like it that way. Take their power away: don’t deal with them unless absolutely necessary. Anyone that is against you on a regular basis, ( whether it’s due to jealousy and envy, wants to control you, is undermining your best efforts, or is just bad for you) has to go. These people don’t deserve a place in your life. They keep you down for their own personal benefit. If you have anyone in your life like that, cut them off. If you have to deal with them ( a family member, spouse, or ex-spouse, boss, client, etc… ), make it on your terms, not theirs.

Being stranded can empower you to be the best person you can be, if you are willing to learn the lessons that come with the test. Keep in mind that life is a test, and you will be tested daily in every way imaginable. So embrace the challenge of being stranded, it can teach you some great life’s lessons. Also, remember that if you have a positive attitude, there is nothing that you can get through. Maintaining a positive attitude is the key to getting through anything. Let the stuck hit rock bottom. You aren’t meant to be there.

At What Expense?

There are several layers to your life, and sometimes they overlap. But, are you sacrificing areas of your life that will bring you out of balance? It happens all the time much to the detriment of your: relationships, health, finances, family, spirit, and emotions. In the end, you may end up sacrificing the things that mean the most to you. But that have to be your fate? Of course not.

There are factors in success that require great sacrifice and there will be times when you’ll have to. But, is it worth the loss in the end? Too many people have foolishly given up what matters most by being: blind, selfish, and more importantly ego driven and proud. You want to see a business person with lots of money, no family, or friends to share it with? You don’t usually get to see these people, they don’t get much press. Unless of course they’re being used as an example. Ebenezer Scrooge is remembered for being horrible for a reason.

So how do you refrain from joining the ranks of “Jerks R Us”? Serve others before yourself. That’s a tough one. Immature, insecure people start businesses thinking that they’re going to prove something, get rich, and impress the world. Mature, service minded people start businesses to serve others. They understand that if they are doing the right thing, the money will follow. Prestige and popularity don’t matter when you’re in it for the right reasons. They end up being great perks.

So who do you think is going to be more successful? The service oriented. Why? They won’t blame everyone but themselves when something goes wrong. Know that there’s no such thing as failure only lessons learned. Understand they are the reason for their own successes or failures. And that they didn’t get anywhere without the help of someone that was willing to sacrifice for them to become successful. They’ll take full responsibility for their part, while giving credit to those who deserve it.

You can predict a person bound for failure in business in how they handle a crisis with everything else in their lives. Quitters will quit every time: guaranteed. They usually have a track record of quitting, and will fail in business because of this. Business is the one venture you can’t quit when the going to gets tough. And, it will get tough.Quitters expect things to be easy and smooth, and give up at the first sign that it’s not going to work out. They don’t want to work on the hard things, and figure it’s easier to cut their losses. In essence they live the life of people who lose by default. Winners face adversity and grow stronger. Losers look for a way out.

Be careful of starting a business with the idea that everything will work itself out. Unless you have endless capitol, resources, or time this is a foolish way to think. You’ll need lots of help, with many people who believe in, and can help you during the difficult times. And, those that will be in your corner to have successful business. There is no such thing as a self made millionaire. Anyone that succeeded in business and made it to the top has a barrage of people to thank for it.

Anyone that won’t give credit to those who helped them get to where they are find it very lonely at the top, and won’t stay there long. Stepping on people on the way up will only cause you to have to face those same people on the way down. This time with you looking up at them.So, if you want to have a balanced life, and succeed: serve others. There are enough Jerks in the world. We don’t need a fresh supply.

Be the one that everyone wants to work with. The person that people want to see reach the top. It’s easy when you do the right thing by people. When you don’t: beware of Karma. You get what you give. If you only think of yourself and hurt others for your own personal gain, the Karma that comes with that is painful and severe. What you do to others will eventually come back to you. So do the right thing, no matter how you feel, what it costs, or how you look.