Ditch People Pleasing

Everyone dreams, but most don’t know how to pursue their dreams. People are too invested in what others think, and live with the burden of pleasing others. It’s a form of bondage that keeps you from having your own success. Defining yourself is important for several reasons. The main reason: most people don’t want you to surpass them in life, so they’ll tear you down to ensure that you don’t. Are you living your life to please someone else? If you are, then your dreams aren’t big enough.

Big dreams take up a lot of space in your head. They’re on your mind every waking moment. They invade your sleep, and they are constantly what you talk about. When your dreams are big enough, you start to seek out those who support them. You attract what you need. People are drawn to you, and want to help see them play out. The tools you need start to show up along the way. The contacts appear. Doors open. Opportunities show themselves in various different ways. That doesn’t happen when you try to please others who have no dreams themselves.

Vision forms from dreams. A dream is the concept, but a vision makes it a reality. Vision is the nuts and bolts of how to make a dream become real. The lack of vision kills most dreams. Negative people help to bury them. You have to beware of people who have no dreams, and lack vision. They just don’t understand you. They live in a small world, and only want small people to live there with them. They live in boxes that very few people can fit in, and yes, they want you to live in their cramped little space. Don’t, their lives are limited.

Dreams and visions make life worth living. If you know that there’s more out there, and that you can see beyond your situation, there’s hope. To have a vision, you have to “know who you want to become, and what you want to be known for” according to author Ray Higdon. Focus on those things, what: is good, moves you forward, and leads you down the right path. Dreams will die without a vision and the courage to forge ahead.

Form a plan, and start to look at what you need. Find someone that is doing what you want to do, and do what they’re doing. Successful people know this. Have you started looking for someone to lead the way? A mentor by proxy? Once you find one, then search for others that you can work with in real time. Are you willing to become a lifelong learner? To read books that lead you? Watch seminars and listen to webinars and conference calls that instruct you? Find the money to hire a coach? Find enough courage to invest in the one investment that no one can ever take from you: yourself?

Don’t kid yourself, it takes a team to be successful. They may be behind the scenes, but they’re there. A team will push you beyond your limits, test your resolve, and force you to face your inner demons. That’s what they’re supposed to do. If you want anything out of life worthwhile, give up people pleasing. Those that you try to please will forever find fault with what you’re trying to accomplish. They won’t allow you to have any personal victories. They can’t, if they do, then you won’t be focused on them. That’s really why they can’t be pleased: that’s the way they get and keep your attention. Yes, it sucks, but it’s the truth. At some point, you have to shift the focus. Trust and believe that they will find another willing victim to jump through their hoops. Just stop letting it be you. Dream, follow with a vision, and take action to make it a reality.




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