Is It Time for an Upgrade?

Are you settling? Have you been for a while? Is your situation one that you dream of getting out of? Will you downgrade or upgrade? How do you tell the difference? It’s all in how you frame it. A downgrade is something that makes you feel superior. An upgrade makes you feel blessed and grateful. Whether it’s a new job, relationship, business, lifestyle or whatever, what you chose is a reflection of how you feel about yourself. What you present will tell others all they really need to know about you.

That’s why it’s so important to upgrade your life. It’s funny how people want to chose what’s easy, just so that they can feel good about themselves. Something available and not really what they want, it’s just different. That’s a downgrade in the worst degree. Here’s why: it’s not what you really want, but you can’t have what you want, so you settle. When you settle, you’re downgrading. When you work a job you hate, you’ve downgraded. In a relationship that’s convenient, again downgrading. Not going for what you want, and saying that this is all there is? Downgrade.

Unfortunately, a lot of us have been taught to downgrade. Look no further than most people’s parents. Going to work daily, and settling for new adventures through their television sets. What an example. Many have been told that striving for better makes you greedy. Really? That’s talk from defeated people. They lived a downgraded life, and can only offer the same. Depending on which successful business person you read about, they are the: 95, 96, 97 or 98%. They live quiet lives of desperation. Wanting more, but too fearful of what more can mean. They survive, and don’t have the courage to thrive.

Do you come from a place where people settle? Is that the life you want? If it is, kudos to you. But, for those who want more, you have to go against your internal programming and ask yourself one question: Do I want to survive or thrive? If you want to thrive, then you don’t want to live your days the same each and everyday. You want something more out of life. If that’s the case, surround yourself with people who want the same. Like minds hang around each other. Winners prefer winners. You truly are a reflection the 5 people you hang around with the most. Chose wisely, they will either help you soar, or keep you stuck.

An upgrade starts with a decision. People who settle hang around others who settle. You see them spending most of their time in bars, nightclubs, casinos and other hangouts that bring no value to their lives. These types pat themselves on the back for leaving society behind. That’s total BS and loser speak. They all think that they’re somehow better than everyone else. Let’s be honest, there’s a reason why we call these guys lounge lizards and the chicks barflies. They leave no real mark or legacy.

Take the show “Cheers” for example. Watching people with no real lives is one thing, living it out is another. The show “Frazier” the spin off, showed someone who left the bar to have a real life. He upgraded. He left Cheers behind. He knew something that Sam and the gang didn’t: Life goes on outside the bar. His life wasn’t perfect, but at least he had one.

If you need an upgrade, start with those people closest to you. If they don’t want to get on the upgrade train with you: leave them behind. There will be plenty of people who will want to be part of your journey. And the truth is, the ones you leave behind, you won’t miss. They’ll either catch up, or become distant memories. Some people need to become memories, and won’t ever be able to catch up to you. Wish them well, and let them stay where they are. You have to think about where you’re headed. Some people are only stops on the way. Some will get on later and get off. Some will be there from start to finish, and some at the end to complete it with you. Enjoy the challenge.

How to upgrade is your choice. Just remember that an upgrade enhances your life, and brings changes. Will stretch and grow you. Make you reevaluate your life. Make you want to be a better person. Will require give and take. Makes settling uncomfortable. Takes you forwards not backwards. Is positive, authentic, secure and stable. Encourages risks and helps you see your flaws so that you can improve them. Upgrading your life means not seeing yourself as perfect or above reproach. Being open to your vulnerabilities exposed without being defensive. Allowing yourself to be corrected for your own good. And more importantly: being humble enough to know that you may have many changes to make.

 

 

 

 

Do You Have Friends Like These?

Never underestimate the power of a good friend. When things are good, they’re your partner in crime. When times are bad they have your back. So why do so many people take these people for granted? Do you know when you have a good friend over an acquaintance? Someone who will be there when the chips fall? Someone that will make sure you can pick up the pieces? The person that is cheering for you when you have a personal victory? The one that encourages you when you can’t muster up a positive thought? The one that helps you re-frame a bad situation? You know, a real friend?

I have a friend named Fred who is my rock. He’s one of my favorite people. Why? Because he’s a real friend. There for me when I need him, and we actually have a give and take relationship. Gasp! When was the last time you had one of those with, anyone? He’s a great listener, has a ton of excellent advice, and he’s there for me when things get rough. Full of wisdom, and really has the right attitude about life. Not too much gets to him, and he’s a great man. Also calls me out on things. Is he perfect? Hell no, and he’ll tell you that. What he is, is loyal. That’s missing in today’s world. He’s also my shoulder to cry on when things get rough, they do at times.

Then there’s Melanie my new BFF. We have been through some crazy things this year. I love her to death. She makes me laugh, is almost always up. Reminds me that life can be fun, and she helps me keep things in perspective. She’s my friend that helps me see the bright side, even in the dark. We can talk about anything and everything. We talk to each other everyday. And, I don’t know what I’d do without her. Even relates to my kids well. The kind of friend that everyone needs. Has my back, even when everyone else has left me in the dust. Helps me to re-frame things when I can’t find the positive. Also lets me know when I’m going down the wrong path. She is also loyal.

Loyalty is a big deal for me. I’m loyal, so I expect it in return. The price for losing my loyalty is losing me. Period. I will not expose myself to disloyal people. Once I find out you’ve betrayed me, you’re gone. There is no coming back, not even if you change. Why? Because, with loyalty comes trust. I have yet to encounter a person that misuses trust that is able to fully regain it. The untrustworthy and disloyal tend to abuse forgiveness. In other words, they will betray again once they feel they can get away with it. With time, they prove they don’t deserve a second chance. I don’t need anyone like that in my life. They need to fade off into my past where they belong.

I do forgive, but I don’t forget. I’ve been taught by the people who were closest to me ( by means of betrayal ), that forgiveness doesn’t mean that you have to deal with them. It just means they have no hold over you. Don’t wish them ill will, or try to hurt them. Let the Universal Law of Reaping and Sowing take over. Otherwise known as: Karma. The Karma Bus, as a friend of mine calls it ( it makes me chuckle when she says it ), takes care of it for you. It’s always far worse on the reverse end. I’ve seen that personally over the years. It’s why I don’t take revenge. God, the Universe whatever you want to call Him/It will avenge you. If you just sit back and wait. I’ve seen it happen time and time again. Karma is just, and it doesn’t care whether or not you’re sorry.  There is no escape. Karma does it’s job, and does it tenfold.

I was told years ago that if you want a friend, you have to be a friend. It’s true. I have great friends that I’ve learned to trust, and that trust me. I love these people, because they make life more interesting, fun, and keep me grounded. Everyone should have at least a small circle of friends that you wouldn’t give up for anyone or anything. Friends should bring out your best, call you on your worst, and add value to your life. If not, then you need to rethink who you call “friend”. I personally would rather have one true friend, than a circle of people that I can’t trust. Loyalty is a gift, and trust should be a given. Don’t settle. Your friends should make your life more satisfying. They should also help you with your rough edges. Friends should be worth their weight in gold. Mine are, are yours?

 

 

 

Find a Way and Work it

Hard work will pay off when you are really onto something. It really does. But, you have to work smarter, not harder. It’s what I tell my kids. And, it’s true. My whole life I’ve wanted to be in business. I didn’t care what business, as long as I could be my own boss. That was a dream of mine for many years. Now, I’m working on making that dream come true. I have mentors and people in my life that are giving me the guidance, education, skill sets, and tools. Everything I need to take it to the next level. I couldn’t have gotten to this place without the belief of those closest to me. Support and encouragement go a long way in business, but so does networking.

No one has ever made it to the next level without help. There is really no such thing as a self made millionaire. Anyone that has made it will tell you that. It took a team of people to help them to get to where they are today. If asked, they will tell you all about the people in their lives that helped them with what they needed to succeed. And, how grateful they are that they were there. Believers, mentors, teachers, spouses, kids, friends, and colleagues that were there during the dark times. The ones that didn’t give up on them, and challenged them to get to the next level. Even when they didn’t believe that they could.

So what happens when you have to start at the bottom like I did? You make sure you follow those who have what you want and learn from them. I’ve been to seminars, watched webinars ( my personal fav ), listen to conference calls, read books, watched DVD’s and listened to CD’s in my car. Now I’m working with leaders that I wouldn’t have had access to without those first steps. I’m networking. In other words, I’m finding a way, and making it work. You don’t know, what you don’t know, until you venture out of your comfort zone. Look for opportunities to learn everywhere. What may seem like a challenge is usually just an opportunity in disguise. If you know what to look for.

Why people live in a comfort zone is beyond me. It’s boring, doesn’t challenge you, and keeps you stuck. The comfort zone is where most spend their lives, and then resent others who venture out and find a whole new existence. It’s refreshing outside the comfort zone. It’s also where you can stretch and grow. But, make sure you take the right people with you. Not everyone who claims they want the best for you does. You find out who they are the minute you leave their comfort zone. So be careful.

You don’t have to know everything to make your goals come alive. You just need a nudge in the right direction. Then forge ahead and work with what you’ve got. It really is a waste to see people doing very little with their lives. They mistakenly believe that what they have is all there is. Shame really. I wonder how many great people are just existing without living out their real destiny. Most likely millions. Don’t be one of them. Get rid of anyone that tells you that you can’t do something. The same with people who belittle your dreams and goals. They don’t deserve to be there for the successes, if they are the ones smashing your dreams and effort.

I started with reading, moved on to seminars and then coaching from professionals. Today it’s much easier. Facebook is advertising people who want to teach you just about anything in business. Even Youtube is putting out great content. Don’t forget blogs and websites. Getting what you need doesn’t have to be expensive any longer. There are lots of people in business out there trying to pay it forward. Learn all you can from them. Pick something that resonates and go from there. Stay on your path, focus, learn, keep it simple and don’t forget to have some fun.

 

 

 

 

What Inspires You?

Inspire: (v) fill (someone) with the urge or ability to do or feel something, especially to do something creative.

When was the last time you felt stimulated? You know, really jazzed and passionate about something to the point where you couldn’t sleep at night? That itch that you should be doing something, but you don’t exactly know what. You just know that you should be doing it. That one thing that everyone else tells you that you’re crazy for even trying. That compulsion to get it done, and not stop until it’s finished. You think about it, dream about it, focus on it, and just can’t give it up. When was the last time you knew that you could do it despite opposition? At least you were willing to try. When was the last time you were really inspired?

I saw a film a few years ago called, “Peaceful Warrior”. It starred Nick Nolte. Beautiful film with a powerful message. A young male gymnast, cocky and arrogant, gets into a motorcycle accident that changes his life. He gets inspired by Nolte’s character to not give up on his dreams. And then, fulfills them. It’s based on the book, “Way of the Peaceful Warrior” by Dan Millman. My point is, you can be inspired to continue or inspired to quit. The film, “Million Dollar Baby”, with Hilary Swank shows a woman that quit. Similar situation, different ending. One was inspired to chose life, the other chose death. We all have a choice.

So where does inspiration come from? Is it an internal thing for you? Do you get inspired by others? Or does it just “hit” you? In the end it probably doesn’t matter as long as you are. It can be a person, place, object, thought, sight, sound, whatever. The list is endless. So how do you live an inspired life? Stop living everyday the same way. Robin Sharma is famous for saying, “Stop living the same day everyday for 75 years and calling it a life.” He’s right. Inspiration is about not settling. Make at least one new change each day. Do something different. Whether it’s a new exercise, different kind of coffee, park in a different spot, or buy a stranger lunch behind you without telling them. Just do it, and see how it feels. One new thing a day can lead to inspiration. Break up the mundane and go for the unknown.

You have to take some risks in life to have a fulfilling one. Try new things, and go new places. Meet new people, and try new foods. Read a book if you’re not a reader. Check out a museum. Take a walk in the park, forest, on the beach, or through the mountains. Just try something different. People who like sameness become boring. They have no zest or zeal. And, quite frankly, they’re a serious let down when it comes to conversing. They have nothing new to offer, and they can be repetitive when they join a lively conversation. In other words, the uninspired bore people. Don’t be that person. Life is about living and trying new things. Enjoying new experiences. It’s a big world out there, find a new place for yourself in it. Don’t let someone else do the things that you want to do. Create a new lifestyle.

Inspiration is what makes music, art, food, books, workouts, new businesses, new ideas, or whatever come into existence. Look no further than technology: science is constantly inspired. Doctors, researchers, anyone that’s looking to make and impact and leave their mark is an inspiration. Homeschoolers are even inspired to tailor their kids educations to suit their needs.

Whatever inspires you to do something good, and for the betterment of someone else: Do it.  Pick a cause, whatever means something to you, and run with it. Inspiration is contagious, and it’s the one disease the world should be exposed to more often. So go infect as many people as you can. You don’t know what word you may say to a stranger, child, friend, co-worker, relative or whoever that could change their life for the better. Change makes life more interesting. Sameness can inspire as well. Being stuck in a runt has inspired many people to take charge of their lives. Be one of them. Go out and get inspired, you don’t know who’s waiting for you to inspire them.

 

 

 

Success Is Still the Best Revenge

Everyone has their haters, and naysayers. The ones that want to see you fail are usually the ones that take pleasure in snidely being able to tell you, “I told you so.” The intense need to feel superior is a dead giveaway. Why are these people so invested in your humiliation and defeat? Why do they take pleasure in other people’s failures? Envy: (n) a feeling of discontented or resentful longing aroused by someone else’s possessions, qualities, or luck; (v) desire to have a quality, possession, or other desirable attribute belonging to (someone else). People who want what you have, but can’t have it suffer from a severe case of it. The envious love to see those who can do what they can’t, fail. And, what’s worse? They’re usually the ones behind the scenes orchestrating their downfall, while telling the rest of the world to watch. Yes, it’s pretty sad.

How do you stop an envious person from: creating chaos/confusion, reeking havoc, and undermining your efforts? Succeed. What’s the worst thing you can do to the person that wants to cause your downfall? Succeed. The one that wrecks your reputation? Succeed. The one that back stabs you, etc…? Succeed. You see, people who are too afraid to take risks are pissed at the people who do. They remind them of their insecurities, fears, inadequacies and shortcomings. Who wants to be reminded of that? Those types of people shun personal growth, and refuse to be introspective. Looking within is too painful. They can’t stand what they see. So why should you get to get ahead, and enjoy it to boot?

Success is the best revenge. That much is true. It speaks for itself, and it doesn’t need an introduction. It stands on it’s own 2 feet. It doesn’t need to be pumped up, or justified. It just is. The awesome reason it’s the best revenge? It’s positive, and has a win/win effect on people. It also has a way of spreading to others in a way that changes their lives. That is worth all the: ridicule, taunting, and mocking once it’s done. They rejoice in your struggles not understanding that it brings you closer to your dreams being fulfilled. They see the process, not the outcome. They kick you while you’re down, only to be seething with even more envy when you get up. It’s pretty cool when you get to where you’re supposed to be, while leaving them in the dust. Nothing beats it.

The ones that hassle you are operating based on their own issues. So, they “project” them onto you. It’s a cowardly way to not have to admit that they just don’t have what it takes. Not having the life skills, coping mechanisms, or being just plain lazy and not getting it right. So they want to stop you. There’s nothing worse for a person who can’t do, than to watch someone who can. Their ego/pride just can’t let you win. I love Eckhart Tolle’s, “A New Earth”. He really explains how the egoic nature can screw you up. If you’d like to know more about him check out his website www.eckharttolle.com. He got it right when he talked about the ego is really not you, but a false self. It demands adoration, admiration, and attention. The ego isn’t humble, it’s arrogant, proud and completely self serving.

Want to really to get under an envious person’s skin? Ignore them, and keep it moving. They can’t stand it. If they don’t know what you’re doing, they can’t: undermine, talk about, or get a handle on it. Just keep them out of it to the best of your ability. Even if they do know, don’t let them stop you. They aren’t worth it. In the end, they will be left behind. Bitterness coupled with resentment concerning their own lack of ambition or initiative is a hard thing to have to face. Instead, let them watch you grow, reach goals, and accomplish things. All while making your dreams come true. Still wishing that they could stop you. What could be better?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Who Defines You?

Isn’t it interesting how much people love labels? There seems to be a box for everyone. Why so many boxes and definitions? What use do they really serve? Are we so afraid to look within that we have to judge everyone else? Or worse, do we fear giving others the opportunity to tell us who we are? This seems to be so for many of us. But, can we change that? The answer can be yes or no. It depends on your mindset.

I’m currently reading, “Mindset, The New Psychology of Success”, by Carol Dweck, Ph.D. It’s seriously an interesting read. I haven’t read far enough into it yet to give an unbiased opinion. But, from what I’ve read so far, many people could benefit from this book.  Dr. Dweck talks about the differences between a fixed mindset and a growth one. When you are able, I suggest that you take some time to look into it on her website. http://mindsetonline.com/

I have come to believe that the people doling out these definitions would be horrified if they were defined by their own standards. What people believe about others and themselves is crucial to how they treat others as well as themselves. If you’ve made up your mind about someone, it’s pretty hard to change it. The same thing with changing your perspective of yourself. Especially if you meet like-minded individuals that validate you. That’s where the trouble begins. Then there’s a lifetime of possibly being wrong, and not wanting to change. Once the ego and pride are at stake… Well, you get the picture.

Does that have to mean that we have to accept who others say we are? Especially if we have been told who we are for so long? Short answer, no. No one else can live your life for you. They shouldn’t be trusted to make your important decisions. More often than not, people who don’t really know the real you base things on themselves or try to pave your path for their own financial and/or egotistical gains. Their personal wants, needs, desires, feelings, thoughts… The list is endless. It’s about them, not you.

How do you define yourself? Take personal inventory. Ask yourself the same questions that a stranger at a new place would ask you about you. Where are you from? What do you do for a living? What do you like to do for fun? Do you have any siblings? So what brings you here? It may sound strange, but those are some questions people ask to get to know you. Introspection is important in today’s world, and would help many people find true peace within themselves.

It is hard when you have no clue who you are, and don’t know what you want to be. Reinventing your life constantly with no real foundation. Living your life based on others opinions and expectations? That’s existing, not thriving. It’s your life. Trust and believe, there are people who really feel the need to try to live it for you. They want you to be their mirror image, and that makes them feel important, powerful and in control. It’s truly about them, not you. So ditch the toxic people. If not physically, at least mentally. Control your contact with them. You’re not a kid, so you don’t have to let them call the shots.

The wrong question to ask is: Who am I? The right one is: Why am I here? What’s my purpose? My destiny? Are my actions and thoughts consistent, and in keeping with it? If your actions don’t fit your words, then you have a disconnect with your authentic self. If you don’t like the real you, you can change. The question is, do you want to? Trust yourself before you trust anyone else to tell you who you are. You are the only person that’s with you everyday of your life. No one knows you, as well as you do.

To Be in Business or Not?

Should I go into business? Or shouldn’t I? Valid questions. Besides the obvious, there are a few things that you should consider when making the plunge. Are you going to do it full or part time? Is it going to be a sideline, or your main gig? Do you want to sell a product and/or a service? Do you need start up capitol, or can you start with pre-orders? Questions, questions, questions… And those are just a few to start with. Whatever your reason, you’ll need to have a vision. Do you have one? Are you passionate, or lukewarm about it?

Over the years, I heard successful business people talk about: mindset, vision, and goals. They were always the most important issues that were brought up. Notice that money is not part of that equation. Why? Because if you don’t have the right mindset, goals or a vision, it doesn’t matter what you do. You’re dead in the water. You have to know what you want. As the late Zig Ziglar stated,”You have be before you do, and do before you can have.” It’s true. You have to have a direction, and a purpose. Those 2 things can help you through the tough times.

The money can run out, so can supporters. But, if you have a direction and a purpose… Well, now we’re getting somewhere. Businesses ebb and flow. They can be good when they’re good, and really bad when they’re bad. You’ll have to have a clear focus, and money alone won’t give you that. So you need to know why you’re doing what you’re doing. What you’re going to do. How you’re going to do it, and when you’re going to do it. All of these questions need answers: before you start. They can really make or break a business. Often the people who don’t answer those questions find out the hard way how important they are.

The business starts in your head first, and the rest follows. I had a colleague once say, “Ask the Universe for what you want, and It will make it possible for you.” Another way to put it is: make a decision and everything will fall into place surrounding it. Either way, the point is, if you want something badly enough it has a way of happening. Without effort in many cases. You have to make the commitment to yourself first, concentrate on what you really want, and then allow yourself to see it. Everything happens for a reason. You can’t have a successful business without seeing in your mind first.

So, you have to become a kid again. Dream, imagine, and creative it first in your mind. “Thoughts are things”, according to author Mike Dooley. So guard them at all costs. Don’t let the people who don’t want to see you succeed have any access to your mind. Negative people hate to see you happy, and will do anything in their power to destroy it. Learn everything you need to know about what you want to do. If if hasn’t been done before, then study people who were the “firsts” in their fields. There’s a ton of information out there, and many places to look for it.

The only person who knows if you truly want to start a business is you. In the end, you may be the only one to believe in yourself and what you’re doing. Never mind worrying about your haters. They’re that way because they can’t do it themselves. If they could, they wouldn’t be the ones finding fault with what you’re doing. Let them be toxic somewhere else. In other words, ignore them. If you feel the desire to be in business for yourself, trust and believe that there is enough business to go around. Are you willing to take the risk?

 

 

Family, They Have Skin in the Game

Who are the most important people in your life? Family, right? So why not have them be essential to your business? Making them an integral part of your success will help your business boom. Why? Because they have some skin in the game. If you do well, they benefit. Do poorly, they suffer the consequences. So why not have them: encourage, support, help, motivate, inspire, and work with you? After all, all for one, and one for all.

*A word of caution here: nothing kills a business faster than an insecure spouse. This is the only time I would ever suggest not starting a business of any kind. Insecure spouses have only one plan for your business: destruction. They will undermine, sabotage, and do all in their power to see you fail. Why? An insecure spouse is a control freak, a business threatens and intimidates them. You have to: grow, inspire, motivate, be empowered, lead, mentor, educate and stretch out of your comfort zone to be successful. The exact opposite of what they want you to do. Start one at your own emotional, and financial risk. You can’t say you weren’t warned.

If you don’t have an insecure spouse, chances are you will have the world’s greatest partner. If you have kids, they’ll encourage the kids to help out as well. Nothing says, we are a strong family than a thriving family business. Having your family on board is amazing, and a blessing. They have much to gain or lose. If you win, they win. If you fail, they fail. So, they want to see you win. Success is contagious. It has a habit of spilling over into everything that you do.

When your family helps you to build something that lasts, it can strengthen your relationships within the home. There’s a sense of being a community, or tribe. If your tribe is for you, then you know you can take on the world. Human beings want to be a part of something greater than themselves. A business can fulfill that. Especially if it’s started from the ground up.

There are some life lessons for your kids as well. Responsibility, accountability, integrity, character, can all be learned in the way you conduct your business. Don’t forget: honesty, gratitude, appreciation, and values can make or break a business. Let them know that integrity is what you show when someone isn’t looking. Teach them what happens when you say one thing, and then do another. Make sure they understand that a lost of trust can be permanent. Exaggerations should be seen and taught as a bad thing. Teach them in a business setting where there’s money involved. They learn fast. Morals should set the standard. Are yours good ones?

Let them learn the nuts and bolts of the business. After all, they may be taking over someday. Do you really want them to do that, and not know what they’re doing? Everything from start to finish, not matter how young they are. If they grow up with it, then it becomes a part of them. They want to see it through. And, with all the adventures you can have with start up ( the good, the bad, and the crazy ), you’ll create a lifetime of fantastic memories.

 

Do You Know Your Destiny or Life’s Purpose?

Are you a deep person? Or are you shallow? Do you have goals? Or are you just drifting through life? Do you have a vision? Or do you just go with the flow? These are important questions. No matter what you believe, there are Universal laws that work whether you believe in a higher power or not. People who live their lives on purpose lead: passion filled, satisfying, ever evolving lives. They’re filled with gratitude and appreciation. Those who tend to grumble and complain their lives stay the same. Resentment, envy and complacency set in. Knowing your life’s purpose will show you how to determine your destiny. I personally believe in God, and He has one for me. But, I’m not going to force anyone to believe what I believe. Whatever your belief, a purpose keeps you going.

Life is complicated, but can be simplified when you have a purpose. The schools can’t give you one. Your parents can try to lead you to one. Your friends usually believe that they know what it is for you. But, truthfully, only you really know what makes you tick. Arrogant people tell you that they know you better than you know yourself. And, ignorant people will tell you that they have no idea who you are. Doesn’t matter, as long as you know. People without a purpose drift through life, and then die without ever realizing their destiny. That’s a shame. Potential that isn’t meet. What a way to go.

When we’re kids, we have some idea of what we want to be when we grow up. Then suddenly BAM! Life hits you with the reality of you won’t be Cinderella, or Ironman. What a blow. But, then you start dreaming about things that grown ups do. If you’re lucky you have an adult that will inspire, motivate, and encourage you. If not, you search for guidance elsewhere. If you don’t get it, you drift. So mentors are extremely important. They can help you to envision a future that you may not have thought to be possible. They can lead you in the right direction. Advice and wisdom are at your disposal. They hold you accountable, and keep you responsible. Everyone could use someone that will hold their feet to the fire.

With vision comes risk. You have to be willing to risk something to reach your potential. What will it be? Releasing your: loser friends/boyfriend/girlfriend, a dead end job, or family member that’s sabotaging you? Making a U turn in your career and starting a new business instead? Going back to school? Starting the sideline gig that you’ve always dreamed about? What? Do you even know? Start somewhere. It doesn’t matter where, but start. Think about what you daydream about. Is there something that you just can’t stop thinking about? Is your mind made up, or are you open to new ideas? Make sure when your destiny calls, you have your ringer on. Also, be ready to answer the phone.

Desperation or Hunger?

Why is waiting for something worthwhile so difficult? Instant gratification really is overrated. It truly is. So many people want what they want, when they want, they way they want it. Everything has to be now. So what’s with the desperation? People are no longer hungry. Oh, that’s right, that would mean having to wait for something. When was the last time anyone wanted to do that?

Remember when you were a kid and had to actually wait to eat dinner? No snacks, so that you would have an appetite when the food was served. Did you die? Nope. Were you hungry? Of course. How else was Mom going to get spinach or broccoli ( 2 of my personal favs ) into you, before you acquired a taste for them? You had to be good and hungry so that you would eat whatever was put in front of you. No matter how much you didn’t like it. To be truthful, I still haven’t acquired a taste for Salisbury Steak.

The same thing is true for business, family, or anything else that you want in life. You have to be hungry. So, you have to wait for it to get good. I love Dunkin Doughnuts, which is basically a sacrilege where I live. Everyone here swears allegiance to Krispy Kreme. I love glazed doughnuts, have since birth. I love the way they smell, and taste. But guess what? If I get there before the place in the morning opens, no matter how hungry I am, I have to wait. I’m not going to break in just to get a doughnut. I have to wait. I’m hungry, not desperate. If I was homeless, that might be a different story. But, I tend to buy the guy with the sign down the street a coffee and doughnut when he’s there. I like to pay it forward.

Desperation on the other hand, will cause you to make stupid mistakes that cost you big later. If you’re desperate to get married or have kids? You’ll marry the wrong person, and settle. If you want to make a million dollars tomorrow? You’ll go into a bad business deal and go broke. Want to lose weight, and get the wrong workout program and/or supplement? You’ll lose money, and still be overweight. Anything in life worth having is worth waiting for, and yes, you’ll have to wait for it.

Desperation doesn’t require any thought. It’s based on emotional reasoning and reactions. In other words, you leap and then you look. Not good. Hunger is more calculated. When you’re hungry, you’re constantly on the lookout for your next “meal”. Whatever that may be.  Mr. or Ms. Right. The business that fits your passions and/or expertise. The new career that takes you all over the world. The exercise program that challenges your body and forces you to eat right. The next best idea, or whatever you truly want. You don’t settle.

Just stop trying to get it now. Desperation never helps. It will also get you into a lot of trouble. Desperate people also have a pesky little habit of running away the first sign of it. Desperation will cause you to do that. Desperate people by nature want things to be easy. Life is simple not easy. Hungry people understand that. They want satisfaction, not a quick fix. They want something they can really chew on, and digest. They stay until they get their fill. They don’t run to the next thing because it’s not working. Hungry people stay and finish until the job gets done.

Are you hungry or desperate? Are you willing to wait to get to what you want? Or, do you just cut and run? Can you find a solution? Or do you just give up? Being hungry is something that can propel you to greatness. Desperation can destroy you. Which one are you?